Robert was like me in some ways and different in many ways, too. I suppose the differences brought as much pride as the similarities. He was a gifted writer and sensitive soul. He was interested in so many things, just bursting with enthusiasm to learn about the world when he was young. Unlike me, he could express himself on the spur of the moment very well to anyone. Rob was clever too, not just intelligent, but funny. His sense of humor tended to be dry, and it was never dull to have Rob around. He left this earth in 1987. I will always miss him.

It has been a long time and I am fine now. But let me leave you with a poem that maybe you will remember the next time a friend dies and you are faced with the decision of what to say to his/her family. You probably won't know what to say, especially if the death was a suicide or drugs or something everyone would rather not think about—you will think that there is nothing that you can say that will make them feel better. And because of that and your own discomfort, you may be tempted to fade away without a word. Don't.

Tell Me

by Alice Woodrome

You feel there are no words–
What can you say?
I know. I'm glad you are here.
And a touch is nice.
But I need your words too.

Tell me you loved my son if you did.
Tell me you thought he was bright,
Witty, handsome, good hearted
You knew him in a way I did not.
Tell me.

Tell me of some fond memory
Of you and my child together.
I need all the good memories
Of him I can gather up now –
Even second-hand ones.

Tell me you will miss him –
That I'm not the only one.
Your words will make me cry,
But your silence hurts more.
Tell me.