Tourist Trap

Cooper glanced at the billboard as he drove down the interstate. "See the World's Largest Jackrabbit," the sign beckoned. "This Exit."

"Lets take a break here," he said to his passenger, pointing up at the sign. "I need to stretch my legs and I'm kind of curious about something."

"Curious?" the bearded man said. "I've never seen anything good at one of these tourist traps, but you're the driver. I'm just hitchin' a ride."

"Nothing good? Ah, you're wrong there, my friend." Cooper signaled to turn. "I stopped here about ten years ago when I was in college. And believe me, what I found was exceptionally good."

He pulled to a stop in the gravel lot of a little cafe and opened the door. "Lets go in and have a cup of coffee."

"I thought you was curious about the worlds largest jackrabbit," the hitcher said as he shook a cigarette out of a pack of Camels. "The sign points that way."

"It's cement - don't waste your time." Cooper brushed at the wrinkles in his chinos and straightened his collar. "What I'm curious about will be pouring coffee if she is still here."

The two men entered the busy cafe crowded with displays of jackrabbit knick-knacks, postcards and other souvenirs. They took a booth by the window. Cooper searched the room as a waitress brought them water and stood poised with pad and pencil for their order. "What you havin?"

"Just coffee for me," Cooper said, then added, "Say -- does Maria Sanchez still work here?"

"Not for about seven years," the waitress said. "And she's not Maria Sanchez any more. You know her?"

"Sort of," Cooper said. "So, she got married, did she?"

"Yeah, to Michael, the guy that owns this place. They got three kids now."

When the waitress went to get their coffee, Cooper said, "That Michael is one lucky stiff."

"I take it you scored with the lovely Maria?" the hitcher said to Cooper.

"Well, that was what I had in mind at the time."

"I guess she was one hot mama, huh?"

"She was a looker - but there was something else about her, too."

"I'm listening."

"It was during the summer break after my freshman year and I was driving across the country in my red Beretta, a graduation gift from dear old Dad. I fancied myself a real stud in those days, prided myself on my irresistible charm. Every pretty girl I met was a challenge."

Cooper paused when the waitress brought their coffee and then proceeded with his story.

"Like I said, I was on the prowl - and let me tell you, I got plenty that summer. Then I stopped into this place for a late breakfast. I was wasted after a particularly memorable evening with a nurse from Tucson, but there she was -- Maria. She had a body that wouldn't quit - but she was the real sweet type, you know?"

"Yeah, sweet," his companion said.

"Anyway, I watched her for a while -- to sort of size her up -- see what tack to take. I was determined to have her, for no other reason than to prove that I could."

Cooper tore an envelope of Equal and put it in his coffee. "There was this poor family at one of the tables that was having trouble making up their minds. It was pretty obvious that they didn't have enough money. The father ended up ordering milk and cereal for the kids and just toast and coffee for him and his wife. After they ordered, Maria started to walk away and then hurried back smiling and said, 'Oh, guess what. I just realized it. You are the fiftieth customers today. Every day the fiftieth customers eat on the house. You might as well have the works. I'm bringing eggs and bacon all around. Do you like eggs?' I assumed she was planning to pay for their breakfast herself. Then afterwards I heard her whispering to a guy who was probably the owner, enlisting his help in the trickery. I suppose that was Michael. I guess they were fairly thick even back then."

"So what happened next?"

"Oh, I was smooth. I stuck around till the crowd was pretty well gone and struck up a conversation. I told her I was on leave from the Peace Corps in Guatemala, knowing that would make me some points. It did, too. When I asked her if I could take her out after she got off work, she said yes."

"So? Did you score?"

"I gave it my best shot," Cooper said. "I promised all kinds of things to finesse my way into her pants, but I struck out. You know what she told me? She said she was saving herself for when she got married. So she would have the gift of her virginity for her new husband. Imagine that? In the nineties!"

Cooper took a sip of his coffee and continued. "I don't think I was ever quite the same jerk after that. Don't get me wrong -- I didn't become a monk or anything, but that Maria Sanchez made a big impression on me. I never encountered anyone like her; so kind, so innocent and pure. "

He raised his cup to the hitcher and smiled. "So don't tell me, my friend, that you can never find anything good at a tourist trap. I suspect Maria is worth more than you and me put together."

The End