Pablo Picasso. Girl Before a Mirror

Crystal studied the ugly scar that snaked across her face as she looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was a big decision she had to make. She'd been living with the disfigurement for so many years now that it was a part of who she was -- as much as her blue eyes and golden blonde hair, now graying at the temples.

Everything had changed for her that day. She was scarcely more than a kid, really, and in one instant the course of her life was forever altered. The homecoming queen - a beauty that the girls envied and the boys wanted -- became someone to pity.

Her hospital room had been filled with flowers after the accident and she received dozens of get-well cards and notes from people she didn't even know. But it didn't take long before her college friends drifted away. Only one of them stuck with her through it all. Crystal hadn't really appreciated Lindy like she should have before the car crash devastated her life and ravaged her future.

It was that way with a lot of things, really. As terrible as the accident was, and as unsightly as the scar was that she lived with every day, all in all, it had been for the best. She learned a lot about life in the days and years that followed that horrific day. And in an odd way, it saved her from the hazardous direction she had been headed. It was a long hard road before she could look at it that way, though. The scar on Crystal's psyche was deeper than the one that marred her once beautiful face and more painful than the months of physical therapy.

She'd been drinking that evening - just a couple of beers, but enough to affect her reaction time. The man driving the car she collided with was drunk, but it didn't lessen the remorse she felt when he died three weeks after the accident of his injuries. Crystal knew the accident wouldn't have happened if she had not been drinking, too - if she had stayed home from the party - if she hadn't run with the fast crowd -- if only.

That "if only" scar was the worst one, along with the guilt that wrapped around it like a cancer. Only God knows the hell she endured before she was able to forgive herself for her part in the death of that man. There was so much more she had to face and somehow work through, as well. The loss of the promising dream she'd had for a future in the theatre - of the feeling of control over her destiny - of the sheer joy of being young and vital. Crystal's sense of identity had been shattered.

These days, though, she could count many good things that came out of the tragedy. She wouldn't have met Justin if her life had continued on course, and he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her - and for the reasons a person wants to be loved. She loved the career she had found hiding in the orchestra pit. Music had been her favorite part of theatre, but she never would have concentrated on it while the spotlight beckoned. There were so many things, many of them so intangible that they were hard to tease out. She was a better person now than she would have been -- wiser, kinder, and more patient -- of that she was sure.

And now, Crystal thought, as she traced the line of the scar, after all these years she had a chance to change her life again. A new form of laser surgery had been developed and had finally been approved by her insurance company. The procedure, the surgeon promised, could remove the scar tissue so effectively that barely a hairline would be visible, and all at a minimal cost to her and Justin.

But did she really want to remove the catalyst for all that good? Crystal smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

"Yes, in a heartbeat," she said.

The End